Here goes!

HI!

I have no idea why I'm writing this, and God only kows if anyone is going to be arsed to read it.

I have just moved out of mu Mum's house and I'm all alone, and to be honest i'm a little bit lonely. By the way I'm 21, and this is not the first time that i've lived alone.

Right, back to the actual "blog".
I'm 21, I'm a self-harmer, I've been on anti-depressants, had counselling and had a friend on suicide watch over me for about 3 months, but all that did was made me more determined to hide the fact that I still hurt myself.
Infact I've just done it, right before i decided that i was going to write this and tell you all about it.
Don't get me wrong, this is not a cry for help.
I suppose I'm kind of using my blog as an open letter, not only to the people that know me, but to those of you that don't and that have kindly taken the time to read a little about my life and get a little insight.

So to the open letter! (actually as a letter too)

To whom it may concern (that's you, that is!)

I'm a litlle bit fed up, I think the actual term for how I'm feeling is "meh!".
I work in a office 9 to 5 ad i get no recignition for the fact that, not only do i practically do my managers job, but i also cover for another incompitent memebr of staff on a daily basis.
I am good at my job, I know I am, and although I make a few clerical errors now and again, I am only human. Hands up if you've never made a mistake.

My "boyfriend" just told me that his actual girlfriend is pregnant! Whoop! Good news? Mmmmm, maybe not!

My Mum is about to be evicted from her house, and for some reason feels that this is my problem and that I should be the person that sorts this out, I mean, I kow she's my Mum and everything, but seriously, you're the parent! You sort the mess.
My little sister sleeps with anything that walks and then worries about the consequesnces, OH THE CHLAMYDIA!
My big sister walks all over people and thinks that's fine, until she's stood up to, in which case of course they're in the wrong and I'm supposed to sort things out.
And my 3 best friends are completely ruining their lives one day at a time.
I can practically see the emotional train wreck coming to it's collision point.
Friend 1 - 21 years old, has a 3 year old child, is still sleeping with her smack head exboyfriend, and taking his methodone piss tests to get him off the hook with probation.
Friend 2 - Just turned 21, pregnant, not sure she wants it, but pretends because the 28 year old minger of a boyfriend is over the moon.
Friend 3 - Is just like me, having a "relationship" with someone that is already taken and, quite obviously, out of bounds. But she loves him and he, apparently, loves her. Even though he has left his current girlfriend no less than 5 times in order to have a "proper" realtionship with my friend. Each time they have been back together in no more than 48 hours.

So, back to me, it is my blog after all.

I am in love! I can't eat! I can't sleep! and above all i have a massive urge to step in front of a lorry.

Thanks for reading

Em x